


Worth It All

by Kurisutori618



Series: All in One Place [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, F/M, Hurt and comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 14:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6524146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kurisutori618/pseuds/Kurisutori618
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River discovers the Doctor's dreaded secret he had bear, every single time he was with her. Tears are shed, and theres nothing left to hide, so truth is only left to say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worth It All

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching really emotional River Song youtube videos and got motivated so here you go!  
> I really like writing angst stuff, its more meaningful to me then happy stuff. And that's also messed up hahah!

River song is discovering that the doctor, lived every single moment of their life together, knowing her fate. She asks him why he did it. Broken and almost no spoilers left to reveal, she begs him tell her why.

XXX"

"Tell me why you did it?"

"River-"

"Tell me why!?"

The Doctor sighed in defeat.

"You were long dead before I knew who you were" he responded heavily with a tightened jaw, holding onto dear life both sides of the console with his fingertips.

"Then why do this to yourself!" she scolded a feet away behind him.

"Why let yourself go through all this!" River cried, she couldn't understand what's the point.  

She wasn't crying for herself, she was crying for him. He didn't deserve this.

"KNOWING….. WHERE I END UP!" shouting with tears streaming down her face and hands trembling at her sides.

Forget composure!

If I'm a fixed point what is there left to lose River thought to herself.

"DOCTOR!" she sobbed.

The Doctor almost felt her pain radiate to him, to look at her.

"Because I'm a selfish man River, always have been, always will be" he said aloud with a deadly calm, surprising himself at how he was able to cope with a broken and angry River, as he turned round to face her.

"And I needed to know!" he said firmly slowly moving right in front of her to grasp both her shoulders. She tensed at his touch.

River searched his eyes pleading him let go of her but he did not. If it was hurting her to be touched by him, then he'll hurt with her.

Tell her everything the Doctor urged himself.

"I needed to know, how I let you in" he admitted with sad but honest eyes, "I don't let people in."

He looked in her eyes, it was the most important thing in his life he needed to see through.

This impossible, complicated and beautiful woman who said sweetie and slowly melted his walls as ice to a small flame.

"And…?" she murmured now, fight in her fading, looking anywhere but his face, just at the ridiculous bowtie round his neck.

Oh how she used to loath them, now she adored them as much as he did as she smoothed his bowtie with her fingertips out of habit.

Such a simple little thing. Such a stupid simple silly thing.

"Do you regret what you know now?"

"Never….." The Doctor said intensely, making River catch her breath and look up at him in surprise.

"Because then I would have lived my life not knowing, what I never knew I had."

"And whats that?" she asked him carefully.

"You….." he told her, "My equal, my murderer, my wife." he said looking into her eyes, while holding her face tenderly with both palms. As if she were the most precious thing he could ever hold in his hands.

River just choked back the next tears at the back of her throat and he wiped the wet tears she shed off her cheeks with his thumbs.

"That is so messed up sweetie!" she managed to chuckle despite her feelings to cry some more.

"Aren't we all" he smiled and kissed her forehead fondly and held her close so his chin rested on top her head of curls. Wrapping his arms round her waist tightly never letting her go.

XXX


End file.
